Sometimes in life, you have to take risks in order to progress in life. I am probably the biggest anti risk taker you will meet! (She laughs nervously). I will come up with every excuse possible to not take it, where as if its someone else’s risk to take I’m all for convincing them to do it.
Having anxiety, can sometimes stop you from taking those big leaps because your so afraid of what might happen. Why would you want to bring on your anxiety when you are so comfortable with where you are? I know right!
Wrong! I have been stagnant for a number of years now in a job I’m not particularly happy in, okay yes I’m training to be a counsellor and the job should only be a form of income but I equally need to feel satisfied. We were all given an opportunity to apply for voluntary redundancy without any risk as withdrawal was accepted if you didn’t want it. I was accepted and whilst I knew in my heart that would be the case, I equally assumed the decision would be made for me and I wouldn’t of got it. Now I’m landed with one of the biggest decisions I’ve had to face and I’m still weighing up my options. I’m basically making myself unemployed but there are lots of other factors as to why it’s potentially a good decision to make. I’ve definitely come to terms with the fact that nothing is permanent anymore, later down the line, people could be facing compulsory redundancies which is why the VR scheme came out to try and prevent it.
I vowed to myself this year, that I would not see the new year in and think Melissa you absolute moron, you didn’t do any of the things you said you would achieve yet again! It just makes me feel disappointed and I beat myself up for a while for not achieving anything. So after feeling sorry for myself, I make new goals, don’t achieve them and go through the cycle again.
Training to be a counsellor I felt like I neeeded to challenge my anxiety in order to know what it really feels like when you make those steps. I want to work with children and young people potentially and anxiety is a big issue for many. Would it really be right for me to listen to someone who feels that exact same way knowing I couldn’t take the challenges and risks myself. I want to know what it really feels like, exposing myself to uncomfortable situations. Writing this very blog was one of them and it’s the best decision I made, I’ve had nothing but positive feedback and it makes me feel warm inside that I really am helping people! So take it from someone who’s going through the very process of taking risks now. Follow my journey and know that your not alone and whilst they seem very scary in the moment, it doesn’t last forever. I have no idea where I will end up but I’m trying to stay positive on what the possibilities could be, they really are endless and I’m hoping it’s my best one yet!