Seeking approval from others

Being an anxious person, I find it really difficult to make decisions. I always think the worst will happen or something will go wrong and it will be all my fault. I guess in a way I don’t like taking responsibility for things so I would rather share the decision and anything that comes with it, including mistakes! How awful is that! 

It’s why I’ve found myself stuck in situations that I can’t get out of. I know what’s best for me and what I want, but without that approval from someone else I just can’t bring myself to do it. If people say “ohhh how you going to cope” “is that a good idea?”, I really want to know if anyone else feels this way or is it just me? 

Its almost like I need my very own cheerleader rooting me on to make those leaps happen. I know they will make me happier so why can’t I ever do it? Why do I listen to others and go with the opposite to what I want? The answer to those questions, I lack confidence in myself. I’m really good at helping others achieve their goals because it’s not my life, it’s not me taking the risk. It’s easy to cheer someone else on and watch their journey unfold than to do it yourself. I guess it’s almost living your goals through someone else. 

The way I manage it, is concentrating on what I want and what I want only. I take everyone out of the equation and imagine myself being happy, I have a vivid imagination so it’s easy for me to watch myself skipping along merrily like life is so easy. On a serious note, I think about all the things that I want to achieve, how Im going to get there and what I need to do to accomplish that. Yes I still talk to people to bounce off my ideas and get opinions on if I’m doing the right thing, everyone does it, it’s about getting reassurance, but not to the extent it stops you from making those choices. It’s important you remind yourself that it’s your life. You have to stay strong and be that cheerleader, cheering yourself on every step of the way. People will try to get in the way of it and it’s not easy but who said life was? 

Every time you feel like you can’t make a decision or you need approval from someone, think about what your trying to achieve, who is it going to affect most, you most likely, so your voice matters more than anyone else’s. 

Talk to people and get opinions, but don’t forget the loudest voice, your own! And go with what you know is right, what’s the worst that can happen? Write down the pros and cons if it helps, your always going to be learning, growing and changing, so seek people’s opinions yes but not their approval! 


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