Having anxiety often leads me to saying “I can’t do that” quite a lot. It’s stopped me from doing things because I’m too afraid of what might happen.
Travelling is one of them, especially on my own, I have a funny story to tell although at the time it was bloody hideous I can laugh about it now. I was on my way home from London after a meeting for work, I got the same tube back that I got on the way there so I knew my route and which way to go. Unfortunately someone had jumped the track and the tube line I was on was stopped and everyone had to divert. FYI, people in London literally consider this normal, I was however shocked and concerned for the poor person. Anyway, panic mode set in because I had no idea how to get back.
I went to look at the tube lines and tried to figure out which way to go but that only made things worse. I asked someone that worked there who called out a series of directions and tube lines to take but having anxiety often makes you forget quickly because you can’t process information. This made me panic even more because I had already forgotten what he said. I went outside, asked a few more people, no one spoke English that just frustrated me and added to it.
I went to a tube line in the end, found this really nice man, told him I was lost and he told me some directions and that he was heading that way. That was is it for the poor bloke, I wouldn’t let him escape from me. I asked if I could follow him HAHA! He looked at me like I was crazy but the next part is even funnier, I held on to his bag strap and he turned around and looked at me like what the hell is she doing. I smiled sweetly as if to say, come on, this is normal, show me the way. I didn’t let him leave my side until I had reached a point I recognised. I just kept talking to him and making conversation so he stayed near by. Thank god for that nice man that day, who got me back to Waterloo and helped me avoid having a panic attack at rush hour, despite him not wanting to do anything I made him, he helped me that day and I will be forever grateful.
Moral of the story is, you have to challenge your anxiety, sometimes it’s put upon you and you have no choice but other times you can make the decision to do it yourself. I vowed to myself that thisyear I would make drastic changes so 2017 isn’t another year where everything stays the same and I’m still miserable and moaning about it. Changes can be scary and people often influence your decisions by giving you negative opinions. My advice would be to not talk about it, do it and prove people wrong, show them your results, don’t share your plan. Just keep it within your close group if you feel the need to discuss it, with people you trust and leave the rest wondering. If you don’t challenge yourself your always be stuck in the same position. You don’t have to make big jumps, you can just dip your toe on the other side by making small changes which will lead to bigger ones. You can do it, take a challenge a day, week or month and start saying you CAN DO IT rather than you can’t! Be your own cheerleader.